Day 27 and 103 kilos
Oh my God I'm bored! Bored, bored, BORED! Whose stupid, bloody, bastard idea was this? Because I don't think much of it. No smoking, no alcohol, no exercise (sodding knee is killing me), no coffee, no eating, no socialising - No larkiness! You didn't get a post yesterday because I had nothing to report. I barely left the house other than to watch a friend drink a coffee. This fast is about as much fun as a kick in the nuts.
There is one thing however that has been keeping me from self harm - I may have recently bought a very large shiny book with about 1200 pages in it - lots of which are glossy photographs. It might be about food and it's title could be "The Professional Chef" from the culinary institute of America. Now I appreciate that on first pass that America might be the home of fast and processed food and that therefore some of you are thinking that it is probably rubbish - but it's not. This book is in fact the dog's bollocks! It is a thing of beauty to me - logically laid out, with careful and comprehensive explanations and recipes and lots of helpful pictures. I now know what both a bouquet garni and mirepoix are, when to use them and how to make them - so HAH! to you. I know how to bone a leg of lamb and how to fillet a salmon - I am with child to try both. There are tools I must go to the kitchen shop to buy like needle nose pliers to pull the pin bones out of the salmon belly and perhaps most exciting of all I need knives - lots of them - my heart soars like an eagle! Sadly of course I must refer to the book to do these things but I do know or at least can find out the difference between a boeuf financiere and a boeuf chasseur - happy days.
As for the fast itself - boredom has become the enemy - the fact I am not eating barely figures in my thinking now - what I really miss is the camaraderie of sitting down at meal times with my wife or with friends. I still have plenty of energy and I feel good. I bumped into an old mate at the shop this morning (I have been asked to make a stilton and broccoli quiche today) who hasn't seen me since last year who told me that I "looked alive" - doesn't say much for how I must have looked before but it will, I hope, give you some indication of the fact that it's not as bad for me as some of you have been communicating privately. And by the way, I do appreciate some of the very earnest and worried private correspondence that I have received by emails and SMS. I love you all but I am extremely worried by the fact that some of you obviously think that I have the mental capacity of a six year old. Honestly I'm not that stupid - clearly I appear to be but I'm not. So bless your cotton socks but try and give me a little benefit when it comes to my thinking.
The other thing that I'm really starting to miss are my social evenings with alcohol. That's 60 days without even a gentle restorative and as a result there is hardly any humour left in me. My humour gland feels shrivelled like a raisin and I cannot remember the last time that I laughed like a little girl - woe is me! I'll bet that this paragraph causes some consternation (it's making me giggle at least).
My inability to exercise at the moment is probably contributing but the fact that my weight has remained unchanged for two weeks is also not helping the cause and naturally enough I have my moments where I wonder why I continue to do this but the answer to that is because I said that I would and because I quite enjoy showing off the iron will power to those that have ever doubted it. Anyway just as my beloved aunt used to say when she was signing off on somebody's answerphone - "OVER". Although it's not really because I have a question which I guess is rhetorical unless anyone can give me an answer - why is it I think about her so much more now that she is dead than I ever did when she was alive? - Weird.
OVER.
Ben,
ReplyDeleteyour face is changing shape.Try pilates type exercises on the floor, non weight bearing and exercises in the water also non weight bearing.
Take an exam, that will focus your mind and give you a short term goal... and you strike me as a man who get exciting about learning things (re this blog). I was going to recommend online scrabble, but save that for when you have reached a more respectable age (Solitaire & Aunt come to mind). Watch Julia and Julia as there seem to be many correlations, and get back to 'us' if it sparks an idea. Lastly, there is a hole in the shelf where you favourite book was. You didn't often read it, but there was great comfort in its presence. This is a better metaphor than using furniture right?
ReplyDeleteTake an exam, that will focus your mind and give you a short term goal... and you strike me as a man who gets excited about learning things (re this blog). I was going to recommend online scrabble, but save that for when you have reached a more respectable age (Solitaire & Aunt come to mind). Watch Julia and Julia as there seem to be many correlations, and get back to 'us' if it sparks an idea. Lastly, there is a hole in the shelf where you favourite book was. You didn't often read it, but there was great comfort in its presence. This is a better metaphor than using furniture right?
ReplyDeleteBen your body (unlike your brain it seems) is smart, overweight people tend to lose a lot of weight initially because generally their metabolic burn rate is already higher. Once the body realises that the fuel input is reduced, substantially in your case, then the metabolic rate drops as well. I expect if you ate for a few days you’d probably lose weight. If you continue this fast, don’t expect spectacular declines from now on as your body is in ‘care and maintenance’ mode! Take care – Bobby Sands
ReplyDeleteif bored what about learning Bahasa Malaysia? or is it best not to always know what is being said.....mmmmm. Seriously, you"re looking very trim - take care.
ReplyDeleteWith regards to why we think of those who have died more when so when than they were alive; I think that it is because all we now have to cling onto is the memories rather than the physical details that are there when they were living. I do not think it is weird that you think of Linda more so now than before. I think that the simple fact that there are no more memories to be made we think and cling onto those that we have. Plus, when that person was such a fundamental person in your life, you lose a part of you along with their passing. The person that you were when you were with them. This, I know is no answer but a general rambling of my own wonderings. Chin Up Ben and I do hope that your knees are less troublesome for you soon.
ReplyDeleteSo, a deliberate challenge to your readers today? The prison mug-shot and the gut-shot - different shirts. Is the boredom preventing you from taking a new side-on shot each day? Perhaps you have engaged the service of a stunt gut-double?
ReplyDelete1. Gut looks good, even if weight not changed.
ReplyDelete2. Bored because you are not challenging your mind. This is very important. I'm not sure why you are imprisoning yourself, have you tried going out? Suggesting to friends that they meet you in non-consumption locations for a round of scrabble or going over to their house for a glass of water before dinner?
3. Aunt Linda was unique. Now she is not here it is natural to reflect on that. It takes great strength of character to be unique without being imposing.
4. Challenge yourself to come up with things to do that aren't eating or spending lots of money. Try something new every day. You have the luxury of time and a thirst for knowledge that you seem to have suppressed with your hunger pangs.