You will notice that the overnight weight loss was 1.5 kilos which is predominantly due to a 20km medium effort bike ride yesterday (in strategically padded shorts). Just to help you picture how much weight that is - it's about the same as a 1.5 litre bottle of mineral water. A lot right?
Some other general observations: most of my work shirts, which were tight two weeks ago, are verging on the baggy although strangely the collar size remains a snug fit. Shaving is now easier and quicker because I only have one face to shave as opposed to the face within a face that I have grown used to. My watch, a wedding gift from my wife, which fitted well in September can now move 360 degrees round my wrist. My signet ring is becoming loose and has to be removed when I take a shower or else it will just fall off. My belt has had to be tightened by one hole. My motorcycle no longer scrapes the top of sleeping policemen as often when both the chief and I are on board.
My stomach still growls regularly but the signals to put food in it are now merely weak and easy to ignore. The food fantasies still lurk there and I spend a bit of time fantasizing about breakfasts although strangely I also find myself thinking about beef consomme a lot as well as a good sized terrine of chicken liver pate made with port or sherry. That image in particular haunts me.
I really have very little apart from this to tell you so in a bid to keep you slightly amused, in the hope that you will continue to read my musings, I propose to share some advice on "pick up lines" with you. Jamie please take careful note as these are specially for you.
If a girl is on her own then it's very straight forward: just walk up to her, smile and say "Hi excuse me but does this rag smell of chloroform to you?" and offer it to her to sniff.
If a girl is part of a group of other girls then you must walk up to her with a pleasant smile on your face and use the following: "Hi. What's the difference between a chicken drumstick and a penis?" Hopefully she will respond with "I don't know what is the difference between a chicken drumstick and a penis?" "Would you like to go for a pic-nic with me?"
Neither sadly are my own but both have made me laugh out loud. Sorry I'll try to come up with something better for tomorrow.
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