Fat Bloater

I'm sorry but due to listlessness, this blog starts today when in fact it should have started two days ago. On the morning of that day, I stood my bloated carcass back on to the Ikea scales to see that I was "only" 116 kilos. Which meant that I really must have been going mad with the tiramisu and curry. This, annoyingly, proved my wife correct in her assertion that I had been eating like a champion the week before.

I know from experience that the first 3 days of the fast are the most difficult and conventional wisdom dictates that before embarking on a fast, one should "pre-fast" with raw, organic vegetables, freshly squeezed juices and nutritious smoothies. I went the other way. Saturday evening I pre-fasted with one and a half 12" Pizzas with exotic names like "Four Cheeses" and the rare "Pepperoni with extra pepperoni" and then Sunday evening we joined friends for a traditional Chinese New Year banquet of 8 courses.

As a result of these careful preparations the first day of my fast was pretty unpleasant. By lunchtime my stomach was making noises like a grizzly bear and the hunger pangs were awful. The only possible cure to take away the hunger was to drink water by the litre - and I did. I now know why people use the expression "peeing like a race horse". I swear that it appeared for every litre I was taking on board - I was peeeing out two. So most of Monday was spent visiting the loo. Which was handy because I had too little energy to do anything else. After I failed to feed it, my body then decided to protest by removing what little energy remained and giving me a dull headache which lasted until bed time. Work - forget it, I hardly did anything all day. And before my little turd of a cousin (Joanna) pipes up "so no change there then" I'll have you know that I've been hard at it. By the time that I got into bed at 10pm I was exhausted. I took two nurofen and was asleep within seconds.

When I awoke yesterday  morning (after a 9.5 hour sleep) I actually felt very good. I was alert, energised and I felt less heavy. And indeed I was weighing in at a paltry 114.5 kilos - huzzah!!!

I spent the rest of the morning working on my "how to write a CV document" until taking a break around 2pm. The hunger pangs were less vicious but they were still there and my intake of water was still huge to stave them off. Again I worked through the afternoon pretty much non stop until 6pm and called it a day as my eyes were sore and my head was aching again. When I went to pick up my wife from work she wanted to stop to collect some dinner (for her). It took far longer than it should have done and by the time she came back I was in a fury. I know now it's just my body messing with me but I felt ready to explode at the time. As a result of that I decided to go to bed early. Again I took a couple of headache pills and slept almost immediately but awoke at 730am feeling excellent. Again full of energy, massively focused and raring to go. 113.5 kilos on the scales. Woohoo!